The Life I Used To Have
by xXBalorBabeXx
Summary: Merging who we were with who we've turned into is never easy... but when Yukie finds out how much is still changing, can she handle how she feels about it? Or will she lose Amanda and Finn for good? (Co-written with GirlGoneGamer)
1. I Tried My Best

_**January 12th 2019…**_

_Amanda watched from the backstage area as Finn and Jordan's match continued… and felt a nail jab itself into her right shoulder, seeing Yukie._

"_What is the meaning of this lie?!" Yukie responded, holding up a paper that contained DNA test results._

"_This is the first time I'm seeing that paper… but it looks like Sumire finally decided to prove that you're not Hiro's daughter." Amanda replied as the momentary shock wore off._

"_But… who is my real father?" Yukie asked._

"_I'm hoping it's someone who's the complete opposite of Hiro. Beyond that, I have no way of knowing who exactly." Amanda explained._

"_And I'm just supposed to believe those words? You've been hiding things for a long time. In fact, why aren't you out there in that ring? The script called for you to fight Charlotte tonight." Yukie responded._

"_Well the reason is simple. I'm pregnant." Amanda replied, Yukie rolling her eyes at that._

"_No, seriously, what's the real reason?" Yukie asked._

_Amanda revealed an ultrasound picture, Yukie seeing her name on the back and Baby Balor below it._

"_A little over 8 weeks…" Yukie responded._

"_Found out yesterday." Amanda replied as she put the picture away but it was clear Yukie was angry… and Yukie slapped her._

"_You couldn't keep them closed, could you?!" Yukie shouted._

"_Why are you so angry?" Amanda asked, her right hand to her face._

"_Just… no reason." Yukie responded as she looked away._

"_You just slapped me across the face! Those words you shouted at me and you slapping me, Hiro did the same damn thing to you when you got home from college, didn't he?!" Amanda replied as tears ran down her face and Yukie looked back at her._

"_Yeah, he did. But he minded his own business after that." Yukie responded before her own tears ran down her face. "I'm sorry." She cried quietly._

"_No you're not, you're just saying that to make yourself feel better!" Amanda responded as her voice was breaking and Hunter ran to the women._

"_But I'm really am. Why can't you trust me? Friends are supposed to trust each other and go through hard times, but I don't even see the friend in front of me anymore! She fucking changed after she left me all alone for me to die years ago!" Yukie yelled._

"_I didn't leave you to die, you pushed me away! You wouldn't even talk to me well before I left!" Amanda replied._

"_Look, let's just calm down here. Mandy, stress is not good for the baby." Hunter responded._

"_Tell that to her, she slapped me!" Amanda replied, revealing the reddened left side of her face._

"_Alright, fine. Go ahead. You've got what you wanted. I'll stay away from you for good, if that's what you want, Amanda. And don't even think about talking to me anymore." Yukie responded._

_She stormed off and Hunter turned to Amanda._

"_I thought telling her about the baby would make her happy…" Amanda replied quietly as Hunter held her._

"_It didn't, but she'll calm down. You probably don't know exactly what happened to her." Hunter responded._

"_I always said after I left home that I'd find a way to merge who I was with who I was turning into…" Amanda replied, Hunter brushing her tears away._

"_Things will get better over time. It's not like she's really leaving you for good." Hunter explained._

_Amanda nodded as Hunter examined her face, Hunter lightly touching the outer part of Amanda's left eye and Amanda flinching slightly._

"_I know it hurts, but it will heal, kiddo." Hunter responded._

_Amanda hoped that her badly fractured friendship with Yukie would too…_

**Present time…**

Finn had walked into the trainer's office right after his match and saw that Amanda's face and left eye were bruising… and ran over and held her.

"What happened to you? Who hurt you while I was gone?" Finn asked.

"Turns out that Hiro was never Yukie's father… she accused me of forging a fake DNA test but once she realised the results were real, she had asked why I wasn't wrestling tonight." Amanda explained.

"You told her about the baby, thinking it'd calm her nerves." Finn responded.

"Denial hit her, then anger hit her and then she slapped me. She tried to apologise for the slap and yelling but I was so damn upset that I didn't believe it was genuine and that she was just saying it to make herself feel better. I don't know why I said that to her, that's not me." Amanda replied, Finn cradling her face in his hands.

"I know it wasn't you. But not believing Yukie when she apologized, really hurt her too. Hiro wouldn't believe Yukie too, and she did bad things to herself. I think you're too emotional when it comes to it, Love." Finn explained.

"Even more so nowadays…" Amanda responded before they kissed. "For a while back there, I was scared she'd go beyond slapping me but I wasn't scared for me. Our baby can't protect itself." She replied, Finn resting his right hand on her stomach.

"I know. But this is Yukie, she would never hit you. She just got scared after slapping you, because she never slapped anyone she loved like a sister. But not accepting what's going on around her, it caused her to feel hurt more like you." Finn responded.

"It did." Amanda replied.

"And I think you also flashed back to the hell you went through." Finn explained.

"I don't even see any similarities with Yukie and Randy. He would hurt me because it made him feel strong, she smacked me out of shock and anger." Amanda replied.

"Let's just give her space. Maybe she'll be better by the end of the week, Love. We know it takes her a few days." Finn responded.

Amanda nodded and Finn lightly pressed the ice pack back to her bruised face as Dr. Amann and Hunter guided a bleeding Charlotte in.

"She fucking bit me!" Charlotte yelled.

"Well, don't pull on her arm then! She didn't know who grabbed her or why!" Hunter responded.

"You two need to get your friend under control!" Charlotte retorted after turning to Amanda and Finn.

"Don't you dare raise your voice to me and my husband, you botox and silicone filled harpy!" Amanda snapped at her.

"Well, there's no need for you two to act so fucking protective and caring about one another, we all know your best friend already on the highway the hell next week!" Charlotte retorted.

"I honestly thought your mother raised you to not be such a brat, Ashley Elizabeth Fliehr, but clearly I was wrong." Amanda responded before Finn guided her to their locker room.

"Better?" Finn asked.

"She never used to be like that. I blame it on her thinking just because she's Ric's daughter that she can get away with anything." Amanda explained.

"I'm thinking the same way, Darlin'." Finn responded, before they kissed.

It was as Finn went to go clean off that Amanda thought back.


	2. Our Ever Changing Lives

_**January 11th 2019…**_

"_She's not gonna change drastically, what makes you say that?" Amanda asked while on a video call with Dean._

"_If you really think that telling her about the pregnancy will make her happy, you're wrong, Mandy. You have no idea what will make her happy again." Dean responded._

"_Dean, I've known her for 23 ½ years. You don't go that long with knowing someone and not have an idea on what'll make them happy." Amanda replied as Dean saw a flash of the charcoal grey on her nails._

"_Well, go ahead and try, Mandy. I'm telling you that it's not gonna work… after the failed attempts to have kids with Sami." Dean responded as he trailed off._

"_And I get the feeling you're not happy about the baby at all." Amanda replied, Dean realising he had upset her._

"_Hey, thinking about Yukie is different. But you, it's a whole different story." Dean responded._

"_Do you feel like you're losing me?" Amanda questioned._

"_No, kiddo. It's not that I'm am. I mean… yeah. And that's how Yukie might feel if you tell her." Dean confessed._

_Amanda hung up and set her LG Aristo 3 aside as Finn walked in with a pizza._

"_You okay, Love?" Finn asked._

"_Dean didn't accept the news so well." Amanda responded, absentmindedly rolling her new and closed bottle of Cote nail polish in no.99 before she set it aside, Finn setting the pizza down before grabbing two paper plates._

"_Well, maybe after eating, you will feel much better. But Dean must learn how to accept the news. It's a big step for us, but we'll manage, Love." Finn repiled._

_Amanda sat down next to Finn at the table and they ate, Finn lightly rubbing her back after she had finished eating the pepperoni and bacon pizza._

"_He's always been on my side but now…" Amanda responded._

"_He feels like he's losing his little sister." Finn replied._

"_And he said Yukie would feel the same way." Amanda responded._

"_She might." Finn stated._

"_I'm worried about how she'll react but she has to know. Our friends need to know… our baby is gonna be born into a big family, blood related and non blood related." Amanda replied as she finished her ginger ale and Finn rested his right hand on her stomach, just below her left one._

"_You're right, Love. I just hope she'll take the news. If not, we'll find a better way soon." Finn responded._

_Amanda nodded before they kissed, Finn holding her as her eyes started to close and she let out a sleepy yawn… and Finn picking her up before he stood up, putting her in the bed._

_Finn tucked her into it and brushed her hair back as Amanda slept… and Finn rested his left hand on Amanda's stomach._

"_I promise you, little one. Mommy and Daddy will protect you no matter what, even if someone is trying to stop us from having our dreams becoming real." Finn whispered before he lightly kissed Amanda's stomach._

_He knew it wouldn't be easy telling people…_

**Present time**_**, January 13th 2019…**_

Finn picked up his IPhone X to stop its ringing, answering it.

"Seth, it's 4 in the damn morning over here!" Finn responded quietly, lightly rubbing Amanda's side as she slept.

"I know, but quick question. When was the last time that you've seen Yukie? Sumire and Sami are getting worried." Seth explained.

"When NXT: TakeOver: Blackpool was going on… Yukie had struck Mandy and bit Charlotte." Finn explained before Seth got a Snapchat alert from Yukie.

"I'm gonna send this to you, she's clearly upset." Seth responded, sending the link and Finn opening it and seeing the video where Yukie was calling Amanda a liar.

"That's right. Keep calling her that, she's always been one for past years of your life. You never needed her, Yukie. You need us. Go ahead and pick up that knife. You did the same thing after Shinichi died. And you can do it again." Hiroki's voice was heard as Yukie was showing tears while slowly picking it up at aiming it at her wrist… until the video ended with Yukie giving out a loud angry cry as she threw it.

"She threw it on the ground… and now Hiroki's in the ER." Seth responded.

"She tried to kill him?!" Amanda replied as she was half awake.

"She threw him out of the hotel... and a car clipped him." Seth explained.

Hiroki was angered as his right ankle was in a cast… and Historia looked at him.

"I told you what would happen one of these days." Historia replied with a chuckle.

"Shut up." Hiroki muttered, before seeing Yukie who was outside of the hospital room, having her legs close to her chest while hugging them.

Historia walked over and crouched down.

"Better him than you turning the rage onto yourself." Historia responded.

"I just honestly hope they'll forgive me for how I acted earlier." Yukie replied.

"Yukie, why not just tell them that you're scared of them losing their child like you lost yours?" Historia asked.

"They're not going to listen. After when Mandy believed that I wasn't genuinely apologizing to her. I lost their trust." Yukie responded.

"She was scared after you slapped her." Historia replied.

"But not scared for her… scared for the baby, scared that I'd cause her to suffer a miscarriage." Yukie responded.

"I'm sure they'll calm down." Historia replied.

"They don't have to care about me anymore. They can quit pretending after when I wasn't. I just wanted friends." Yukie repiled.

She left without a glance back at them.

It was daylight when Finn got in touch with Sumire once Amanda had stopped throwing up.

"She's headed back to Florida, Sami and I are waiting at the airport." Sumire explained.

"I just hope she'll be back to way she used to be." Finn responded.

"Yeah, maybe. Or even worse." Sami muttered.

"It's not their fault, Sami!" Sumire responded.

"Whose side are you on?" Sami asked.

"She's in shock!" Sumire responded.

"She's pissed because her so called sister got knocked up!" Sami yelled.

"Fucking asshole!" Amanda muttered.

"My daughter is never mad at Mandy for no reason. She's afraid to even show anger, after being abused! And if you don't know about it, why do you look at my daughter's body once in a while?! When Yukie loses trust to someone, she clearly gets the message and go away, feeling that she's not wanted anymore. I even remember the time when she tried to make friends on her first day, before Mandy defended her because of her English barrier." Sumire explained.

"He won't listen. He even tunes me out when I try to talk." Amanda responded as she had hidden the bruise and blue toned dark under eye circle with orange corrector concealer before blending it in with her matte finish concealer.

"Mandy, let me speak for Yukie, since she believes that she can't be trusted anymore. The reason why both Sami and Yukie are like this, because back in 2017, they tried to start a family. But somehow, Yukie is having a hard time because Hiro ruined her body before. And when you've got pregnant, that's how it started. Yukie was worried that you'll end up losing the baby, and when she slapped you she thought that you already lost it. She was apologizing for you, but… now she can't trust anyone. She was worried, that's why. She never wanted to hurt you. She loves you still." Sumire explained.

"When she slapped me, I felt like I was a punching bag again… I didn't mean what I had said to her." Amanda responded.

"Don't be upset, Mandy. She's actually smarter than you. Or did you really think she was special? A real friend to you? To use or to follow her around?" Sami explained.

"Watch what you say and how you say it, I will redamage those rotator cuffs, boy!" Sumire responded, Sami yelping after he was slapped upside the head before she and Finn hung up.

"Sami's mind got fucked up during the surgeries to fix his shoulders." Amanda replied, Finn holding her close to him.

"It sure did. How do you feel after hearing what Sumire said?" Finn asked.

"Yukie should've said she's worried and not go straight to striking me." Amanda responded as they held each other.

"Well, you know her. She's stubborn. But afraid to even speak up about certain things, like the failed attempts and the miscarriages." Finn repiled.

"But sooner or later, the truth finds a way out." Amanda responded before they kissed.

And Finn knew she was right.


End file.
